7 Behind the scenes secrets of a self-produced reality series subject no. 2

We’re now T minus 5 days till we start re-airing the series... I’m writing the press release waiting for Kevin to finish re-editing episode I. It’s been a fun ride to look back on that version of reality, but through the magic of video, we can look back and fine tune those memories so we give a better sense of what’s going on... from outside the moment.

Onto secret no. 2...

2. At one point it became apparent to me what was going on...

A funny thing happens when you start recording your life… the cycle of events and the flow of time become apparent.. or sometimes disappear altogether. I know this sounds hokey, allow me to explain.

In a first case, I have little to no physical memory of events I shoot, the logic being my brain knows that they are being recorded in their entirety on another device, and so in the name of efficiency, my brain lets go of that process [recording] to devote resources to another process [directing/shooting]. Whenever I have shot anything I have served as both camerawoman and director, so I have had to adapt myself and develop both the physical capacity to cover travelling and a frame, but also the instincts to know what to frame/travel to. I consider these skills to be my most sharp. I done tricks like catch thrown sticks while shooting to prove them to myself.
And what about the cycle of events?

269098_10150698116505355_6066689_nSometimes you find yourself living the same thing you watched yourself do on video a million times before. The fact is, while I don’t remember them much [recorded moments] we know they happened, because we watch them at least a dozen times in the editing room. Every second of the event/discussion/experience is viewed, analyzed, sorted, re-viewed, contextualized, cut, re-viewed with others in sequence, and then repeat the cycle till we decide it’s worthy of sharing with our audience.
When lived like this… one blind moment at a time, repeated ad nauseam, till the next blind moment arrives… becomes exhausting without taking pause to return to normal time, along with everyone else, and just LIVE life. I remember exactly when I put my camera down, and why. I no longer enjoyed going to shows… I no longer saw the point if I had no memories of my own, not to share, but just to have for me. Funny that’s when I started really making friends, and hearing what an impact my work had had on the community I was documenting. I have not only tons of these memories, but mementoes that speak to my impact on people. Nothing quite like autographed brass monographed with a petname… other than the aforementioned stick[s].
At one point I figured out I was learning, It’s the only earnings we have to show for the effort, but then again, Anterockstar was never about making money, but making something of yourself [I’m told the money comes later].

As one of our first legendary guests so aptly put it in Season II ‘Take control of your life, and try and make some effective positive change in this world.’ Thank you Joey Shithead of D.O.A.
Tomorrow’s secret… or later today’s depending when you read it…

3. I never ever have had or will have any control over the outcome of the story line, I still don’t..

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