Most people don’t share their journals. When they write their thoughts down, they are merely regurgitating it for themselves, and are too closed in to share it with anyone else, or any more than a close group of intimate friends. Intimate what you want from that.
I have for the most part always shared my journals with anybody who is willing to read or listen (I’m a gifted orator…lol). You can ask anyone who’s been on the show, when you meet me, you get all of me, even if it’s my tears and screams. Joy and pain. Some would say I give far too much of myself.
It’s important to me, as it is for anyone who considers themselves a performer, to have someone to whom my performance is felt, someone I connect with, even if it’s just one or two people. The lack of comments on this blog certainly drains any enthusiasm I’d get from my audience (not to mention the miniscule size of it). So in essence, I am drawing all of the passion I have from within myself (and a private few who cheer me on behind the scenes).
When the source of your inspiration wanes, and decides to leave you, you are always stuck in a period of mourning which does not permit you to move on until it is done. Sometimes it takes even longer to get down to business because of this mourning, and even longer when you try to cling to something that was never yours in the first place.
But I digress….
I haven’t NOT been writing, I just haven’t been posting. Sometimes when I read my own stuff I am so totally unimpressed I wouldn’t dare show a soul for fear of … well, you be the judge.
I wrote this Christmas post a few days ago….
Well, it's that season again, advent began on Saturday, and the countdown is on. In exactly three weeks (21 days), the world will unite as one (or several factions of one) for a day of peace on earth, and goodwill to all men.
Events as momentous as these only come but once a year, and the preparations are all underway, and have been for some time. Although advent only began on Saturday, we've been seeing the hints from merchants since just before Halloween. They started selling decorations before we finished trick or treating. Has the world no patience? Always onward and upward to the next big thrill!
For some, it is commonly known, Christmas is not a big thrill. Many people find themselves dreading Christmas because of all the stress that comes with these preparations... or the frustration of not having any preparations to make in order to share in the peace that comes from experiencing the 'joy of giving' that seems to infect the entire planet this time of year.
But I urge you…
While you're out there shopping for the Christmas spirit, take a moment to contemplate how you will receive. It’s equally as important.
So, for those of you wondering where the hell we’re at with production… FEAR NOT!!!! We’re not done, but we’re most of the way there, with a complete rendition of Rape Me (mastered and everything courtoisie one Scary Gerry from The Symptom). He was also gracious enough to accompany me on guitar. It’s our first collaboration, and it was awesome. I love our chemistry.
For those of you who recall how our first ever recording session went, check out Episode I from last season. Man, what a difference!! We spent 4 hours in the studio that day and got *nothing*. I spent an hour in Gerry’s house on a Sunday afternoon, and managed a useable track in three takes. I refuse to form an opinion on it, but from what I’m told, it’s a good cover, so I’m happy. (But I’m able to listen to it repeatedly, so that must mean something).
We’re waiting on the release to bring you the video, which we’re shooting shortly. We are going to be screwing around with some things over here, and the schedule might be a little topsy turvy over the coming days… STAY TUNED!!!
On a personal note, I’d like to say how difficult it is to make some decisions whilst keeping the benefit of others in mind. Especially when they refuse to see the benefit, and fight you on it….