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I didn’t mean to hurt you….

I’m composing this to people in particular, they know who they are.

Christmas is an especially intense time for everyone… mainly because we build it up to be that.

I’ve been practicing more seriously of late, cause it appears I’ve fallen into another outfit, and that outfit is booked for a gig on New Years Eve.

I’m led by a very knowledgeable and respected man, and my training is coming along. He’s very rough. He has high expectations, and low tolerance.

I went out to practice (as instructed) and solicited an equally highly regarded brother to help a girl out, and provide that ever treasured feedback one needs to improve…. learn…. and create. Amen for friends.

Interesting thing happened yesterday… Seems my esteemed leader got feeback behind my back, and despite my high esteem of myself, I am reminded that I am an auditory retard.

I somehow could not accept this as true, although I need to remember that Doug is never wrong.

Complacency requires that I be kicked in the ass regularly. He’s pushing the buttons he needs to to make me think and most importantly… ACT.

He’s also using every avenue he can to get the truth out of me, including my confidences in others. People don’t often tell you the truth to your face, it’s hard to utter, especially if its one you obviously don’t subscribe to… and even harder to hear. I could refuse to accept that I am an auditory retard…. but I’d only be lying to myself.

I’m thankful this Christmas for Truth. For being able to hear it without fear, and grow from the knowledge…

May you all find peace and comfort in the truth this Christmas too.

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