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I might be great tomorrow… but hopeless yesterday.

I was inspired yesterday to take a walk to the park with the wee one, cause I dunno, I haven’t seen daylight in … too long.

The cold is setting in early this year, and weakening my resolve. I wish I could hibernate…

Alot of people outside yesterday… I’m noticing that whenever I go out now, I make new friends, and meet up with old ones. I helped Emma make a couple of new acquaintances yesterday… it’s interesting trying to help her over her shyness, when I myself am … wait for it… painfully shy.

Odd for such an extrovert to suffer from such an ailment, but it’s true. I have always been reticent to take the front, even though that is always where I have found myself. Like some cruel joke….

“You know, the only way to deal with it honey is to do it. All you have to do it say “Hi, my name is Emma” and it won’t hurt at all…. I promise.”

Ya, right.

In my little phobic mind, this is where the pain starts (hers too). Human relationships are charactarized by the pain…. the pleasure is what keeps us coming back for more. There is no greater pleasure than interacting. Especially when the players are so open… like kids.

She ended up playing with the two girls, and having a wonderful time. I don’t think I’ve felt so much joy watching her play in some time…

I also have this little habit of picking things up when I go out off the ground. Not litter, cause I wouldn’t wanna step on any union toes, but little treasures that lie on the ground. I’m growing infamous for my collection of fragments of society… my collection includes a variety of playing cards, spoons, forks, a pashmina shawl, a brand new ballerina barbie doll, and now my two new treasures. I expect one day it will form a display of some sort….

As I walked around the park mental patient style, getting my yard time in, I came upon a card in the leaves. I picked it up, it’s a handwritten note.

It reads:

“This note is from Armand
I know you don’t know me well but I need your help. I went to the food bank but there was 70 people ahead of me. I was praying you might be able to loan me $40.00 for Thanksgiving for my kids. I don’t care for myself, my wife should get her compensation in a week or two and at worse I get my Canada Pension on the 28th. Please I need your help. Call me my phone works great.

Please

Armand”

And includes the dudes phone number.

I’m one of those bleeding hearts who believes peoples cries for help. If I wasn’t so lucky, that could have been me writing anonymous notes and leaving them in children’s sandboxes…. Although I have been known to send a message or two in a bottle….

So, as I watch my daughter in bliss, I am plunged into sadness over the state of our affairs. The world she’s living in obliviously….

Oh sweet oblivion.

So I go kick around some sand… trying not to cry…. and there it is.

One chidlren’s plastic Cabbage Patch angel ring.

I hope Armand and his family find the help that they need… It’s scary thinking how many people are out there… feeling desolate.

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