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Living a life that I can’t leave behind…

There’s no sense in telling me
the wisdom of the fool won’t set you free
but that’s the way that it goes
and it’s what nobody knows
but every day my confusion grows.

*****

It used to be confusion, now it’s just wonder. Every day now comes with bright moments that no matter what the hue of the day, always makes it a good one…. I go to bed thankful instead of mournful, and wake up hopeful.

Going away is a required part of growing up. Learning to leave is probably the hardest skill there is to acquire. Especially that we usually are taught this lesson the moment we get comfortable.

I am a creature of comfort and complacency… I am also a diva of chaos and chemistry, and those just don’t intermingle well at times. Until you learn to have them live with each other.

As a woman it is my place to nurture life in a stable environment. As a human being, I am naturally perpetually in motion, my every molecule vibrating constantly.

I’ve contemplated my goals for 2009, within the context of the last few years. It’s hard to contemplate the whole all at once, without contemplating the pieces that make it up. Those mosaics again….

When you look at the whole you’d think it ALL needed to be changed around, especially if you count on the many reflections (opinions) that present themselves…. You can’t see the picture when the sun is reflecting off the tiles…

There are a few realities that come to view when one allows the shadow to overtake the light…But then again, it hides as many as blinding light does.

I am far more brilliant and colorful than I would have previously thought…. especially when I don’t look out from within, or within from without, and just allow myself to be. So is everyone else when I let them be… beings… like me… sharing the darkness and the light.

So, I’ve changed some things around in preparation for carrying out my goals for 2009.

I am allowing myself to be. The WHOLE gamet. From complacency to chaos, I will allow each to take their place inside me, and nurture them WHOLE. They complement each other in ways I never could imagine when they are allowed to play together as friends, instead of each having to be spared at one moment or another.

They control each other, neither can exist without the other, and it is only this way that I can be the whole me that I am… darkness and light… whole.

And my whole me is leaving 2008 behind, right now, packing my bags for 2009 with all the good stuff she brought, memories, lessons, wisdom, maturity, truth, integrity, darkness, and light…. all in my lil suitcase….

And it’s gonna have to be a light suitcase, I’m gonna be travelling in 2009… it’s been far too long since I’ve travelled….

And we all know you can’t get nothing done staying in the same place….

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