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It’s been a while since I’ve just rambled incoherant thoughts on here, and I’m in the mood.  Relax… stay a while (and try to keep up).

Writing is becoming difficult, now that there’s a demand and a purpose for it, it’s becoming a chore.  Although exercises like this one keep me sane, I’m falling behind on business coorespondance, personal correspondance, promotional writing, etc… etc…  Been a while since I’ve purged some emotions in this manner…. and well since I don’t have a more pleasurable way to do it, I take my shit out on you guys.

Someone mentioned a while ago that I seemed too “in control” and that for a person undergoing the pressure I am under, I am surprisingly calm.  That’s cause we don’t tape the whole day through *giggles*.  We showed you some classic Tammie in Episode IV.  I’d say I was acting, but frankly… I was feeling those emotions,   Poor Kevin, he’s usually the one who’s on the receiving end, no matter who inspired it from me at the time.

So many fucking reasons to be angry, and only one not to.  It’s a pain in the ass.  And then….

What if I want to be angry?  I mean really, I enjoy being pissed off, don’t you?  The adrenaline rush, the ringing in your ears, the release that comes when you just belt out your corest of emotions in a torrent of tears and screams…. 

Then again, I enjoy being blissfully happy, and made a decision a while ago not to bother dealing with the emotions that serve only to destroy what it takes so much effort and patience to build (or rebuild)… Love, trust, innocence, truth…  That space where everything’s ok, and in it’s place… in balance.

I’m tired, I’m pissy, and I don’t wanna do this anymore….ANY of it.

Someone get me a fucking Latte, I’ll be in my trailer.  WASHING MY HAIR.

To keep you all occupied during my absence, I leave you with today’s Anterockstar Song of the Second… Rain.. by Madonna.

For all my J’s… 

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