Asked you to remain, by my side through the rain
would you raise your shield in shelter, take away my pain?
some would say, you shouldn’t stay
that the weakness in me is all gone
that I would destroy you if you should hold on
but I’m telling you that I know how to drive
I’ll keep us in motion if you keep us alive
the world is there waiting, in the wake of the storm
the bodies are lying around in a swarm
of oozing black plasmatic choking black smoke
but the wind she is high as I just took a toke
of the sweetest blue healing, green gone from my heart
love will not destroy us if we do not part
and we will not part if I continue to be
the me that I am you’ve inspired me to be
so hold on tight, and grab hold of my wings
we’re all going flying, we’re all going to sing
of good times, just good times, no bad, no bad
the good times we had are the ones we will have.
*****
Good morning ladies and gentlemen. What a week it has been n’est-ce
pas? I don’t know about any of you, but my life has all up and fucking
walked out on me this week it seems, and it seems I’m not the only one
eh?
So, following last week’s fiasco regarding my monthly event Ides (we
lost our venue to the Shwaltz), there followed various
discord/emergencies/blowups with family members, and by family I
include by extension my chosen family of friends. Seems several of my
facebook friends here have had bad weeks too.
All this is the one thing that impedes my progress to improve my
situation. I have had a translating assignment on my desk now for 3
days that I’ve had to get to, that I have not been able to maintain
the focus it takes to get done. I won’t get paid till it’s done, and
although we need the money, the road between here and there seems so
rocky and hard and impossible it doesn’t seem worth it. I’m not a fool
here, but the payoff for this doesn’t seem to be worth the trouble in
this instance.
But the thing is, this week has improved my situation, only not on a
material plane. I have been nurturing several relationships of mine
for some time now for specific reasons, and specific purposes. Some
would call that manipulation, I would call it seeing the bigger
picture. All of life is a trade, from the atoms to anything else, you
give you take, etc… that’s it. That I can see what I am willing to
give/take is not manipulative.
Being able to express that on the other hand, is the trick n’est-ce
pas? Those who posess this skill have an advantage on the playing
field… whatever playing field you choose to play on.
I’ve taken a shit kicking on so many playing fields this week, it’s
felt quite insane, like I almost can’t believe I’m living my life, you
know? But the thing is the week showed me both sides of the coin, and
I was able to hang on to that image throughout the storm, and now the
future is starting to look different, but feels the same. I haven’t
lost anything if I count up what I’ve gained.
And let go what I don’t need. I think a bunch of us have been thinking
those thoughts this week, and I think a bunch of us are coming to
conclusions, and I can’t speak for you, but I feel my affairs are
coming into order, but she’s only revealing them to me one facet at a
time.
Which is nice, cause otherwise she’d blind me.
Who’s she you might ask? (the girl hears voices you’d say…)
She’s the Godess, God, the force, my mother, the earth, my neighbor,
my friend…whatever you wanna call Her….
And I thought she’d left me for dead, but in fact, her fondest desire
is for me to live….
And in order to do that I must learn to take care of myself and mine,
and well, this week although we all went into battle, I am standing,
and I have tended my wounded, and I am unscathed… mostly… I had to
receive my own share of tending from those who love me, and that I am
happy to return, for I feel I have it in me again.
I hope you all have a glorious day despite the rain… that sometimes falls.
A Shield I am proud to wear around my chest.