I have been in pits, and I have tossed about a body or two… I’ve
even run through quick during a break in the flow…
Never actually rode it till last night.
Mosh pits are scary propositions, especially if you’re not willing to
take a beating. That’s the thing, I CAN take a beating, doesn’t mean
I’m down for one. There’s a point in the mosh, like in the middle of a
tornado, where there is tranquility.
Last night, during the song that made me love them, I put away the
camera. I marched right through the storm, to the front lines, and
closed my eyes.
“boom”
One thing that I have learned from John, is that if you don’t remember
to take something for yourself, no one else will…. and it’s not a
sin either.
Fox stood high and proud as John stirred the pot.
“So you think you have what it takes….
I’m the man that can make your heart break
I hold your hand as tight as I can
Everyone knows that you are a man’s man”
I feel the energy, I feel the bodies beside me, brushing me, whooshing
me, my eyes are still closed. The heat, the vibrations, the bubble.
Occasionally I reach out and my hands find the warm comfort of
humanity… everywhere.
When you broaden your understanding of things, the beauty of moments
becomes so vast as to allow you to stretch your conscience.
Con-science…
It’s not really stealing if its yours to begin with.
As outgoing as I am, I am also extremely reticent. I typically have
never moshed because I know its dangerous, and I value myself enough
not to willfully expose myself to danger…. well, at least not danger
that I don’t feel I can handle.
When I know someone has my back tho….
Moshpits are terribly unpredictable things. Whenever you take a bunch
of fucking goofs, pour alcohol down their throats, then pump their
eyes ears and noses full of fear, hope, dreams, nightmares… what a
soup.
Chemists have been mixing volatility since the dawn of time, and human
beings are no less manageable than a bottle of cream soda.
I’m amazed at the amount of trust I have earned here. I am proud of
the amount of trust I have grown able to reciprocate… as a human
being, this I value above all… well, this… and my identity…that
upon which my self trust is based.
To think these boys trusted me to keep this moment of their lives, not
only in the vault of my memory… or the trap of my lens…but in the
annals of history. That’s asscore.
I thought I was being my lightheaded self last night when I left my
identity behind under John’s throne.
I don’t think so.
*****
You
I told you I loved you.
You put me to the test.
I thought we’d conquered it.
That we would earn some rest.
You pushed me. You took me. You pulled me right on in.
You redefine my purpose, my tiny little whims…
Take over where reason would live, my pretty little head.
Reside inside where love does live.
Our hearts, our lives, to live.
-TM