Reposted from The Cure board… just cause I feel like it.
I AM
9/17/2008 4:10:40 AM – by anterockstar
the closest to losing my heart I’ve ever been. I woke up this morning with the heaviest feeling I’ve ever had, and wracked with pain of a sort that is so big as to crush one’s spirit to such a small fragment of it’s possiblity it can barely be seized with fingertips.
Like an animal in a cage trying to escape (wouldn’t you?) I’ve been pacing in my head and crying for over an hour. Sleep never interferes with my fits…. at least my fits reciprocate. I’m looking for a way out that doesn’t involve hurting myself… this is my typical escape.
Out of nowhere, the phrase “doing the unstuck” pops into my head. I don’t even remember the melody, or any of the words, just “doing the unstuck”.
and I fell in love all over again…
“It’s the perfect day…”
Part of my melancholy over the last few years has been my complete inability to feel. A large part of how I gauge how I feel is how I let The Cure affect me. You’ve all heard me express how I can’t even feel them in a stadium sitting in second row.
It’s been a while since I’ve felt The Cure, and thank god I felt them this morning otherwise I don’t know how my day would have turned out (probably the same or worse than yesterday… my great fear).
I don’t know how today will turn out either, but I know that because I listened to that song, at this moment, that I will be ok.
And I’m so happy I can feel again.
You can’t buy this on Itunes, you can’t sell it on the streets, you can only feel it in your heart, and that’s the real treat.
So if I were to make a wish
that you’d have to say
I wish that you could feel me
the way I do today
I know you’re near when
I can hear the sound of your voice
can you hear me in your head
when love’s lorn takes over choice?
Anyways… thanks guys. In case you wondered, this is what you do to me.