“Is it all in that pretty little head of yours?
What goes on in that place in the dark?
Well I used to know a girl and I would have
Sworn that her name was veronica
Well she used to have a carefree mind of her
Own and a delicate look in her eye
These days I’m afraid she’s not even sure if her name is veronica”
*****
Once again I’ve taken my time to brain dump, and I end up with too
much to say… I like that I’ve at least been able to find inspiration
again… in the littlest places.
I just went through what I would consider one of the most horrific
weeks of my life… I was fired on Friday, fell flat on my face down a
flight of stairs on Saturday (the bruises were awesome, and covered
every part of my body… I still can’t kneel comfortably), and then
Lily died on Monday, went out and drank myself into a nervous
breakdown on Tuesday… then off to Montreal for a mini-vacance… and
the first Family Reunion BBQ without my mother (and my first in nearly
4 years).
Holy fuck.
In the last couple of days, I’ve watched two of my closest friends,
and by extension, a few other people, go through similar hellish
experiences, and I inevitably end up giving advice, and consoling, and
lately I’ve mentioned that these people should remember my words,
because they’ll have to repeat them to me soon.
Like I’m anticipating some kind of windfall.
As I watched my best friend navigate the blowing up of her life, I
gratefully gave thanks that she was able to do it with grace, and hold
herself together. I also took it as a sign, that what she says is
true, and that we do have stars above our heads, and we are strong
enough to manage it on our own.
Even if we need help.
I don’t know that I’m gonna get some kind of windfall, but I do know
that I managed the last one with grace, and am working really really
hard at holding myself together.
With help…. and surprisingly… I find that inspiring. :)
Cause how exciting would it be if life was a windfall all the time? *giggles*
*****
“Veronica sits in her favourite chair and she sits
Very quiet and still
And they call her a name that they never get
Right and if they dont then nobody else will
But she used to have a carefree mind of her
Own, with devilish look in her eye
Saying you can call me anything you like, but
My name is veronica”
– Elvis Costello – Veronica