Way back in 2006 when I started shooting bands it was purely because I adored the raw energy that these (mostly) boys (some girls) put out. Capturing that on film for the last 6 years has been some of the most intense times of my life, and a tremendous privilege. I’ve had the honor of angles that many a photographer/videographer dreams of… I’ve been blessed with six years of shooting in hazardous conditions, mosh pits, drunken mobs, tangles of instruments and wires in tight places… and not a single work injury to report :) (with the exception of a regular case of bursitis).
It’s not only been a pleasure, it’s been hard work. Falling in love with that many people has its way of watering a person down, and many times I slipped down a slope where I no longer remembered who was me and who was them. Psychologically speaking, I can say that as much as I’ve loved filming, I’ve also come to hate it. I can now fully appreciate what its like to have a fit onstage, and wreck your instruments in a rage.
Anterockstar, the project which brought me all this wonderous experience, has been on the backburner for a long time, sitting in the shadows, while I tend to the damage that was done while I forgot myself.
Aaron’s death has brought me many swift reminders about why I started doing this in the first place.
I set out to document the blood, sweat, and tears that go into making a rockstar. To document the reality that unfolds under everyone’s nose without notice because nobody shines a light on it. To strip the PR sheen off the television screen, and show people who they are sitting next to on the bus… so that maybe they’d learn to appreciate them like I do.
We contributed our frames to Aaron’s memorial yesterday, and lo, while sifting through 10 gigs of footage, my editor, Kevin P. LeClair, found the 1.5 seconds in it that mattered (shot by Frannie). The more I watch it, the more peace I find.
So, while you may never see anyone we have filmed, or will film, on the cover of Rolling Stone…. You may read their obituary someday, and I’ll have the piece of film that has them wishing you “peace, love and Happiness”.
I love what I do, and I LOVE the people I do it with… cause I couldn’t do it without them.